10. People who recline in the airline seat in front of me. I hate them. I’m already crammed into 1/100th the space the law demands prisoners punished to solitary confinement have, and these people bound for Hell, reduce that further. Along the way they make it impossible to use my laptop.

11. Checking out at the cashier line at the grocer, generally but not always, an elderly woman. She has three overflowing baskets of stuff (she is apparently buying groceries for an entire village somewhere). It takes 20 minutes to scan it all. She just stands there. The charge is wrung up. She just stands there. It is all bagged, she just stands there. The cashier says “that will be $XXX.XX.” Then, and only then, does it first dawn on this woman that she has to actually pay for her grocery purchase. Then and only then does she begin to slowly reach for her purse, that’s too large to carry on a plane, and begin rummaging through it hopelessly looking for her wallet. After what seems an eternity she finally finds the wallet. Then she starts sifting through (approximately) eleventy-billion credit cards in her wallet to find the “right” credit card muttering “this one, no that’s not it, no, maybe this one, do you take the American Depressed card?” When a suitable credit card is negotiated, the foolish clerk asks if the woman is an X store club member. More searching for the X store club double bonus card (which will save her 47 cents on this $389.52 purchase). As you are finally getting hope, the clerk asks the woman “do you have any coupons?” She says she’s not sure, that she “thinks” she does, just let her check in that international trunk sized purse of her’s for a second. At this point you begin making prank calls on your cell phone to people you hate. As it turns out she has 1,297 coupons, all but three of which expired during the Eisenhower Presidency. She also has some S&H Green Stamps and wants to know if those are still good.

Written by

Retired lawyer & Army vet in The Villages of Florida. Lifelong: Republican (pre-Trump), Constitution buff, science nerd & dog lover. Twitter: @KeithDB80

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