Conspiracy Theorist? Take My Conspiraloonacy Rating Quiz.

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How divorced from reality are you?

I developed this some time ago, some aspects may be a bit dated, but I tried to update it as I posted it here.

There are more conspiracy theories out there than you can imagine, and some are really out there. I’ve had the opportunity to hear many of them. If any of you doubt any of the theories suggested here actually exist with serious believers, I can direct you to websites supporting all of them.

Here’s an opportunity for conspiracy cultists to rate their conspiraloonacy.

1. State whether you believe each of the following is true or false. Give yourself 1 point for each time you answer “true.”

a. The Moon landings were faked.

b. Many tragic mass killings, such as Sandy Hook, Columbine and the Amish massacres, were actually the result of government mind control experiments.

c. Many of the contrails you see coming out from airplanes are really “chemtrails.” A secret government program to make us all sick, weak, or more susceptible to mind control by spreading toxic chemicals in the are through aircraft.

d. Obama was secretly a practicing Muslim seeking to impose Sharia law in America.

e. Various “Executive Orders” going back to the 1960s gives the government the authority to seize farms, all media, and so forth.

f. Dozens of “FEMA Camps” are secretly being prepared around the country for the day when the New World Order completes its takeover and locks millions of resistors in well constructed and highly prepared concentration camps.

g. Obama was not a natural born American and was barred by the Constitution from being our President.

h. Area 51 is secretly harboring the bodies of space aliens who crashed in Roswell.

i. A secret Air Force Project called HAARP is actually sending out some sort of energy waves that makes people sick, gives them headaches and may be part of a mind control project.

j. Hilary Clinton really is an actual practicing witch of high order.

k. Illuminati leaders gather every year in a place called “The Bohemian Grove” and practice Pagan/Occult worship.

l. The Pagan/Occult worship at the Bohemian Grove includes actual human sacrifices of infants.

m. Proof of the worldwide Illuminati conspiracy is found in the pyramid eye thingy on our money and virtually every other triangle shaped building, design, logo, etc because it is a reflection of the Masonic all seeing eye thingy.
n. The height of the Washington Monument proves it is an Illuminati symbol.

o. Fluoride in the drinking water is a conspiracy to weaken American minds.

p. Proof of Illuminati involvement in an events or symbols can be found in “numerology” patterns. A supposedly odd pattern of numbers associated with the event or symbol. The suspect numbers include 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 17, 25 and (of course) 666. E.g. On 9/11 Flight 11 hit the WTCs which look like a big 11 and there was a Flight 77 which is a multiple of 7 and 11 . . .).

q. Cancer is really just a fungus that can be treated with simple anti-fungals and baking soda.

r. The Income Tax is unconstitutional, notwithstanding the 16th Amendment.

s. The Income Tax code does not really tax individual wages.

t. Lawyers are not Constitutionally permitted to hold public office because, since they are called “esquire,” they have been granted a “title of nobility.”

u. Scientists are hiding the existence of a secret planet in our solar system that is on a collission, or near collission course, with Earth in the near future.

v. Sandy Hook was staged.

2. The Illuminati are:

a. A long dead Bavarian society of intellectuals. (0 points)

b. The Jews. (1 point)

c. The Catholics. (1 point)

d. The Masons. (1 point)

e. The Bankers. (1 point)

f. Answers b-e (2 points)

g. Shapeshifting human/alien lizard hybrids (5 points).

3. The Illuminati have been engaged in a coordinated world wide plot to control the world since:

a. A century or two ago when bankers such as Rockerfellers and Rothschilds had secret meetings. (1 point)

b. Many centuries stretching back to secret societies in the Middle Ages such as the Knights Templar. (2 points)

c. Ever since the first Catholic Pope. (3 points)

d. Even older as the first Popes were actually the Pharohs of Egypt. (3 points).

e. Ummmm, not really ever. (0 points).

4. Civilization is going to end:

a. Who knows? (0 points)

b. Soon when massive CMEs (predicted by the Mayans) devastate modern society. (1 point).

c. Soon when massive earthquakes (predicted by the Mayans) are triggered by some combination of CMEs, the earth passing through the center of the galactic plane, the collapse of the solar heliosphere causing Earth’s magnetic field to flip. (3 points).

d. Soon when aliens from the planet Nibru invade our planet during its close passage by the Earth around the end of this year (as predicted by the Mayans). (5 points).

5. The real cause of the world trade centers collapsing was:

a. The combined effects of damage from large aircraft hitting the towers at high speed and fire weakening the structure of the towers. (0 points)

b. Controlled demolitions secretly preplaced in the towers. (1 point)

c. “Mini-nukes.” Small yield nuclear bombs secretly placed in the basement of each tower. (3 points).

d. Answers b and c. (4 points).

e. A secret directed energy weapon. (5 points).

6. The thing that hit the Pentagon was:

a. A commercial airliner hijacked by Arab terrorists. (0 points)

b. A fake commercial airliner steered by “global hawk” technology into the Pentagon. (1 point).

c. A cruise missile fired by our own government. (2 points)

d. Nothing. Explosives were planted in the Pentagon. (3 points).

7. The bodies recovered from the Pentagon of passengers on the airliner that the government wants you to believe hit it were really:

a. There as a result of a hijacked plane hitting the Pentagon (0 points)

b. Secretly placed there after whatever it was hit the Pentagon. (1 point).

c. Never there. All the rescuers are part of the conspiracy. (2 points).

8. “Jade Helm” was:

a. A routine military training exercise. (0 points)

b. A cover to sneak United Nations forces into the country for their eventual one world government take over. (2 points).

c. A sham military exercise designed to desensitized the American people to troop maneuvers and presence so we won’t notice at first the real United Nations takeover exercise to impose a one world government. (3 points)

9. Obama was born in:

a. Hawaii. (0 points)

b. Kenya. (2 points).

c. Indonesia. (3 points)

c. An alien spaceship. (5 points).

10. AIDS is really:

a. A horrible, but naturally created, disease of the immune system caused by the HIV virus. (0 points)

b. Not really associated with the HIV virus. (1 point).

c. Secretly created by the CIA to kill gays and minorities. (2 points)

11. The real purpose for this survey is:

a. For me to whimsically poke fun at conspiracy nuts. (0 points).

b. I am an internet “shill”, an agent of the government passing this information on to “them” to be put in “their” files for the day when the White Box Car comes to take your Chemtrail weakened mind to the FEMA Camp, as proven by there being 11 questions to this test. (11 points).

I count a max of 65 points, which it should be noted is another recurrence of 11 because 6+5=11. Use the following key to figure out where you rank on the Conspiraloonacy Scale.

0 = You are a fully rational thinking person. Though all those with higher numbers regard you as a “sheeple.”

1–5 = Conspiracy dabbler. Still regarded as a “sheeple” by those with higher numbers.

6–25 = Mainstream conspiracy loon. Mostly batty.

26+ = Totally bonkers. You have no foundation in reality. You should be institutionalized, which only proves the world is out to get you . . .

Retired lawyer & Army vet in The Villages of Florida. Lifelong: Republican (pre-Trump), Constitution buff, science nerd & dog lover. Twitter: @KeithDB80

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