Is Q Anon The Most Whackadoddle Conspiracy Theory Yet?

6 min readApr 6, 2018

In a March 31 tweet Roseanne Barr pushed a nutcase conspiracy theory, normally observed only by the frenzied, not really mentally all there, reality-denying conservative Trumper cult gullibles.

For the record Barr’s claim is not true. Certainly there have been breakups of human trafficking rings, there always are, but they have not been in particularly high places and under Trump they have actually lagged slightly behind the rate Obama’s Administration set.

The origins involve a shadowy internet troll, named “Q Anon.” The name comes from “Q” being the highest security clearance in the Department of Energy combined with “Anonymous.” Q Anon claims to be a high official in the Trump Administration, so that’s how he has the coveted Q Clearance and the true inside information to what is really going on.

So what does Q Anon tell us is really going on? Well, that’s the fun part. Q Anon posts, to be kind, often lack specificity. The cryptic messages are often of Nostradamus-style ambiguity allowing his followers to post hoc interpret them to conform to unfolding events and triumphantly invoke hindsight to declare “the amazing Q Anon told us about this and he is right again!

The origins of Q Anon reflect this. On October 5, 2017 Trump stood in a photo-op with some military leaders and said “You guys know what this represents? Maybe it’s the calm before the storm.” When a reporter pressed “What storm Mr. President” Trump said “You’ll find out.” So far, the statement seems most applicable to the revelations of porn star Stormy Daniels.

In any event, this irresponsibly vague threat of military action was all whoever the troll is now known as Q Anon needed. Q Anon proceeded to tell his gullible followers what the storm was. So according to Q Anon, here are the essential aspects of the coming storm Trump alluded to.

  • Notwithstanding his indictments and convictions of people close to Trump, including his conviction of Michael Flynn, Special Prosecutor Robert Mueller is actually working with Flynn. They are best buddies. This whole Russia investigation is just a cover for something much bigger targeting democrats, and certain not conservative enough Republicans, like John McCain.
  • Together Mueller and Flynn are working on busting up a massive Satan-worshipping, pedophilia-trafficking ring run by the usual suspects of every high level Democrat including the Clintons, Podesta, Abedin and John McCain. In fact those specific people have already been secretly arrested and are being held in seclusion (e.g. the fake story about McCain’s cancer) or secretly outfitted with ankle monitoring devices.
  • Together the team of Mueller and Flynn already have thousands of sealed indictments for more democrats and RINO Republicans that, in the oh so near future, will result in a massive roundup of the entire Satanic pedophilia cabal.
  • The groundwork for these mass arrests has just been completed with ominous passage of the Omnibus Budget Bill, the passage of which Q Anon insists was a great victory for America. Per Q Anon the new law secretly provides for releasing funds to our military to carry out the mass arrests. This means we are really getting close now. Q Anon posted this:

1. Bill passes, immediately releasing funds to our military.

2. Swamp drain begins, military seizes TRILLIONS in cabal assets, returning them to the people.

3. IG report drops showing just how f — -ed up this swamp really is, revealing pedophilia, extortion, murder, treason and SEDITION. Punishable by DEATH.

4. Panic? No panic. This has been planned so far in advance, very few understand how calculated every move is. The strings will be cut from the propaganda machine and the people will stop falling for the garbage MSM. They will be so appalled by the vileness and sliminess of these creatures it will make them SICK to their stomach.

5. Patriots take back our country.

Wow, “trillions in Cabal assets.” I wonder where they could have got that idea from?

“One Trillion Dollars!”

I know, it sounds like a deranged right wing nut job wet dream fantasy, because that’s what it is. This stuff would be rejected for a Hollywood B-movie as too unrealistic. However, the same alt-right and alt-facts uber-nuts who brought you the conspiracy theory flops of PizzaGate, the Jade Helm United Nations takeover of America, and Birtherism are really buying into this tripe. It’s a significant portion of Trump’s base.

Let’s move on with some more essential and increasingly loopy aspects of the Q Anon drivel.

  • Trump’s recent call out of the National Guard to patrol our Southern border is secretly prepositioning troops for the aforementioned military roundup of the pedophilia cabal. Democratic Governors refusing to participate are, of course, members of said cabal and will soon be among those arrested.
  • The Parkland Florida school shooting is a “false flag operation” by the evil pedophilia cabal perpetuated to get guns banned to leave the good patriotic people of America defenseless against the vast child molester conspiracy. Ditto for the Las Vegas shooting.
  • Recent accidents related to our military, everything from the USS John McCain accident to the recent Thunderbirds crash, are really cover stories for a secret war that’s going on.

Want to have some fun? Go back up and re-read that five point prediction Q Anon put out related to the recent passage of the Omnibus Budget Bill. In that one he had the sense to use vague words like “immediately” with no specific dates. Now compare that to very specific predictions Q Anon made on November 1, 2017 where he laid out a calendar of events:

Q Clearance Patriot

My fellow Americans, over the course of the next several days you will undoubtedly realize that we are taking back our great country (the land of the free) from the evil tyrants that wish to do us harm and destroy the last remaining refuge of shining light. On POTUS’ order, we have initiated certain fail-safes that shall safeguard the public from the primary fallout which is slated to occur 11.3 upon the arrest announcement of Mr. Podesta (actionable 11.4). Confirmation (to the public) of what is occurring will then be revealed and will not be openly accepted. Public riots are being organized in serious numbers in an effort to prevent the arrest and capture of more senior public officials. On POTUS’ order, a state of temporary military control will be actioned and special ops carried out. False leaks have been made to retain several within the confines of the United States to prevent extradition and special operator necessity. Rest assured, the safety and well-being of every man, woman, and child of this country is being exhausted in full. However, the atmosphere within the country will unfortunately be divided as so many have fallen for the corrupt and evil narrative that has long been broadcast. We will be initiating the Emergency Broadcast System (EMS) during this time in an effort to provide a direct message (avoiding the fake news) to all citizens. Organizations and/or people that wish to do us harm during this time will be met with swift fury — certain laws have been pre-lifted to provide our great military the necessary authority to handle and conduct these operations (at home and abroad).

The discerning individual will note that November 2017 passed without any of that stuff happening. None of it.

Notwithstanding this clear flop, Q Anon drives on, picking up followers to include celebrity nutburgers like Roseanne. The believers will continue to believe, no matter how crazy this stuff gets and no matter how many times it fails to come to pass. From chemtrails to Birther tripe, they just move from one conspiracy theory to another, and Q Anon is their delusion de jour.

Whackadoddle is as whackadoddle does.




Retired lawyer & Army vet in The Villages of Florida. Lifelong: Republican (pre-Trump), Constitution buff, science nerd & dog lover. Twitter: @KeithDB80