Ivanka Trump announced plans today to double down on her official role as “Trump Important Meeting Drop By Eye Candy” by establishing her own line of rich sweets. As CNN reported, President Trump enjoys his longstanding frequent exploitation of his daughter’s easy-on-the-eyesness by having her drop by meetings, for no more reason than the obviously aesthetic ones (both of them). I mean, who can look at those . . . ummm . . . smiling lips (they’re up on her head guys) and still be pissed off just because the President screwed you over?
In announcing her new product, a confectionary said by critics to be nice to look at but mostly devoid of any taste, Ivanka said “We will call it ‘I-Candy’ with the ‘I’ standing for ‘Ivanka.’” She further explained “If the whole I-thing could work for Apple it should work for me better because I am Ivanka and my Daddy is President.” When asked if appropriating the “I-thing” might create legal problems with Apple, Ivanka responded “What part of [air quote gesture] ‘my Daddy is President’ do you not understand?”
Ivanka says she plans to release the new product shortly after landfall of the next major hurricane saying it is a natural fit because hurricanes “have eyes too.” She happily concluded “Daddy promised FEMA will buy a bunch and distribute it to all those poor people in shelters because their home is gone and they only thought to buy one.”
Edit & Update: In a “I swear I am not making this up” update, Ivanka Trump tweeted support for Oprah’s incredible Golden Globe’s speech that was implicitly critical of her father (while not mentioning him by name).
Note the “#TIMESUP.” In Oprah’s speech “their time is up” appears in the context of Oprah lamenting that women’s reports of abuse and assault are not believed when made against men of power:
“For too long, women have not been heard or believed if they dare speak the truth to the power of those men. But their time is up. Their time is up.”
It’s not as if Oprah was overly subtle here given that Trump has been accused by at least 22 women of sexual assault or misconduct.
Oprah was even less circumspect in regards to condemning Trump’s attacks on the press. Even as Ivanka’s father prepares his “fake news” awards, Oprah defended the press against a President assaulting it as the enemy of the people:
“We know the press is under siege these days. We also know it’s the insatiable dedication to uncovering the absolute truth that keeps us from turning a blind eye to corruption and to injustice. To — to tyrants and victims, and secrets and lies. I want to say that I value the press more than ever before as we try to navigate these complicated times.”
In regards to all this Ivanka Trump is clueless and my prior effort to satirize her tone deafness with this article has now been overwhelmed by reality.
Edit & Update #2: On November 19, 2018 news broke that Ivanka Trump illegally used her personal email for government business, the same offense her father lambasted Hillary Clinton for. Unsurprisingly, Ivanka pleads stupidity. So far most seem to be treating this defense as credible.
Related Article: Exclusive — Ivanka’s Emails.