Luv Letters: Trump and Kim Jong-un.
A Love Story of Nuclear Fusion.
President Trump has long spoken highly of murderous despot North Korean “Dear Leader” Kim Jong-un. At their Singapore summit Trump declared “He trusts me, I believe, I really do. I think he trusts me, and I trust him.” At a recent rally Trump explained how deep this trust goes. It is rooted in true love, the rarest love of all, a love he has never known for any wife.
The President has declared this true love openly to the world. I give you an actual quote from the President of the United States about the Despot of North Korea:
“I was really being tough, and so was he. We were going back and forth. Then we fell in love. He wrote me beautiful letters. And they’re great letters. We fell in love.”
It’s a line too corny for one of my wife’s romance novels, but he really said it. See it for yourself:
While the rest of the press dawdled, I your ace, crack reporter, quickly dug into my Deep State connections, the deepest of the deep, and I am the first to get copies of the love letters exchanged between the President of the United States and the Dear Leader of North Korea. They start with President Trump writing the President of North Korea.
From: Donald J. Trump, President United States of Merica.
To: Kim Jong-un, My Dearest Leader of North Korea.
Dearest Kimmie, do you mind if I call you “Kimmie?” I do it out of the love we share. You are my Rocket Man, and I mean Big Rocket Man. You are the Bigliest Rocket Man, everyone knows I would settle for nothing less. You are the ICBM of my life. Please don’t worry about Melania, she only wants me for my money anyway. I know you and I share something much deeper, a passion of nuclear fire. I must see you again, soon!
Kim Jong-un quickly responded and it is clear the feeling is mutual.
From: Kim Jong-un, the Supreme and Omnipotent, The Great and Powerful, King of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Maker of Chains, and Father of Dragons, of North Korea.
Dear, Dear Dotard Donnie, you are my favorite Dotard (which in our language means “nailer of porn stars”). Never have I felt for another human being like I feel for you. I would give up anything for you, except my nukes. But I know you will not ask me to do too much, my love, for our’s is a love like no other. We are soulmates, two nuclear powers locked in one passion, and so we shall be forever. I agree, we must see each other again soon. We must arrange another “summit” (if you receive my meaning) where our relationship can continue to explode.
Trump breathlessly replied.
Dearest Kimmie, I am so very, very happy you said “yes”! I shall have my minions arrange for another “summit” (heehee) as soon as possible. Perhaps we can play golf this time. I am very good at golf and I would love the chance to show you my famous mushroom shaped putter. With any luck you will once again get a hole-in-one (wink, wink), as I know you often do. Can’t wait to see you again!! XOXOXO.
And now you know the rest of the story.
