Much Ado About Something: ChatGPT ‘Shakespeares’ The Coming Trump Indictment

In the latest of my ChatGPT series I asked the Artificial Intelligence to: In the style of Shakespeare write about Donald Trump getting indicted for illegal payments made to porn start Stormy Daniels. The AI definitely delivered. I entitled the result Much Ado About Something. Other titles I came up with and considered include:

• Loves Labor’s Indicted
• A Merchant of Penis
• As You Indict It
• A Comedy of Felonies

Without further ado, here is ChatGPT’s Much Ado About Something.

Act I, Scene I:

[Enter DONALD TRUMP, stage right]

TRUMP: Oh, woe is me! The storm that I did brew Hath come to pass and brought my downfall too. The payments made to her of adult fame, The lovely Stormy Daniels is her name, Have been uncovered by the law’s sharp eye, And now indictment looms, I cannot lie.

[Enter LAWYER, stage left]

LAWYER: My lord, the charges have been brought to light, The payments made to Daniels, they are right. The law has found us out, there’s no escape, We must prepare for trial, and not be late.

TRUMP: What madness is this? How can they accuse A president like me, who did refuse To pay for services I did not seek? This is a plot, a foul and wicked leak!

LAWYER: My lord, the evidence is plain and strong, The payments made were not meant to be long Ago forgotten, but to silence her And keep your secrets safe, a scandal stir.

TRUMP: Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first We practice to deceive! My fortunes cursed By this vile deed, I know not what to do, But face the music, and the trial pursue.

[Exit TRUMP and LAWYER]

Act II, Scene I:

[Courtroom. Enter JUDGE, stage right]

JUDGE: The trial begins, let all who here attend Be fair and just, and let the truth ascend. The charge is clear, the payments made to her Were not for campaign funds, but to deter The story of an affair from being told, And keep it hidden, buried in the cold.

[Enter PROSECUTOR, stage left]

PROSECUTOR: My lord, the evidence we have obtained Is clear and strong, the payments unexplained But for the purpose of campaign silence, A scheme to win by unlawful compliance.

JUDGE: And what says the defense to this claim?

[Enter DEFENSE ATTORNEY, stage left]

DEFENSE ATTORNEY: My lord, the payments made were not campaign, But rather personal, for Mr. Trump’s gain To keep his secrets safe, from prying eyes And not for political, but private ties.

JUDGE: Very well, let the trial commence forthwith, And let the truth be known, without a myth.

[Exit JUDGE, PROSECUTOR and DEFENSE ATTORNEY]

Act III, Scene I:

[Courtroom. Enter JUDGE, stage right]

JUDGE: After much deliberation and debate, The verdict of the jury we shall state. On the charges of campaign finance fraud, The defendant’s guilt has been clearly clawed.

[Enter TRUMP, stage left]

TRUMP: Oh, woe is me! The jury hath found me Guilty of crime, and now my destiny Is in the hands of justice, stern and fair, And all my riches cannot make repair.

JUDGE: The sentence of the court is now decreed, And all must heed, the law we shall lead. You are to pay a fine, and serve some time For this foul deed, and not escape this clime.

TRUMP: Oh, what a sad and bitter end is mine, To fall from grace, and suffer for my crime.

THE END

Actually, at that point ChatGPT crashed and gave me an error message. However, I regarded the conclusion above as fine.