NuAgra Press Release: We Regret Confusion Caused By Our Research Balloons

NuAgra apologizes for any confusion associated with our three research balloons recently shot down over North America. NuAgra’s primary facilities are located just outside the small farm community of Jewel, Indiana. NuAgra has no knowledge of the much larger balloon shot down off the coast of South Carolina that our government has already explained as Chinese in origin.

NuAgra is a cutting edge agricultural research organization dedicated to improving crop yields, in part through very complex genetic modification to make crops more resistant to disease and climate change. As part of this research the three balloons in question were simple devices gathering baseline data of current North American crop patterns. NuAgra will be more careful to coordinate future such data gathering efforts with appropriate federal and state authorities.”

Regrettably, any further information regarding our data gathering devices cannot be disclosed at this time as corporate proprietary information.

More information on Jewel and NuAgra is available at author Brenda Hiatt’s Starstuck website at: https://brendahiatt.com/series/starstruck/