The New McCarthy Commission
American Press International (An APPI* Exclusive Report).
When Donald Trump tweeted a call for Saturday Night Live to be investigated, most just ignored it. However, Republican Representative Kevin McCarthy has stepped forward with plans to fulfill the President’s wishes.
Today McCarthy announced his intentions to form a commission to investigate Saturday Night Live and other late night comedy shows that regularly mock the President, with the objective of convicting and imprisoning the writers and performers of the shows. The former House majority leader stated that he will call it “The McCarthy Commission,” saying that “has a nice, familiar ring to it.”
McCarthy added that “because as we all know, the court system is broken, the committee will directly convict those investigated through a Bill of Attainder.” When APPI reporters pointed out that Bills of Attainder are unconstitutional pursuant to Article I, Section 9, McCarthy scoffed. McCarthy pointed out that Article I, Section 9 is a long ignored part of the Constitution. McCarthy noted that Donald Trump had already blown off its prohibitions against accepting emoluments and (with his State of Emergency for his border wall) that section’s restriction that no money shall be drawn from the Treasury except as appropriated by Congress.
McCarthy suggested a similar approach would be taken in regards to his Commission’s use of Bills of Attainder. “President Trump has assured me that he shall declare the anti-Trump bias of late night comedy a national emergency, justifying suspension of the Constitutional prohibition against Bills of Attainder. It’s one Executive Order away from being history,” said the Congressman.
McCarthy indicated that after jailing the cast and writers of Saturday Night Live, his Commission would move on to others including Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, Trevor Noah, and Seth Meyers. “After that, we can go after CNN and Sesame Street,” said McCarthy. “We will be hunting the real witches,” said McCarthy of his Commission.
McCarthy then released a picture of his new Commission convening.
*The second “P” stands for “parody.”