The Top Notch Diplomat Fixing the Denmark Problem.

Thin skinned President Trump once again senselessly damaged relations with an American ally. This time, of all things, with Denmark. Managing to offend the Danes should be regarded a special accomplishment.

When it leaked that Trump wanted to merely buy Greenland from Denmark, the leadership of that nation reacted with understandable shock, dismissing the idea as absurd. It should be noted that Greenland has a right of self determination and that Denmark accordingly cannot sell it. Trump promptly threw another predictable childish tantrum that included insulting Denmark and cancelling a state visit to the country.

Don’t worry though. Americans can be confident that a crack team of diplomats, headed by an exceptionally qualified American ambassador to Denmark, will exercise highly honed skills and experience to smooth over the damaged relations from Trump’s unnecessary caustic remarks and actions targeting a staunch U.S. ally. So who is that crack foreign policy expert that we can count on to deftly smooth this over? Her name is Carla Sands.

Here she is in the movie “Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell.” A movie so bad it was selected for withering lampooning by Mystery Science Theater 3000.

WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK, TOPLESS SEX SCENE

In this movie, she actually played two parts. Her first character was killed off rather quickly, but she returned as her spunky twin sister. As it turns out, an inability to act runs strongly in the family.

Soft porn in B-minus movies is not the only experience for the esteemed Representative of the United States to Denmark. Surely her other experience and background can make all Americans confident she is the best this country has to offer when representing us to the Danish people and government.

Failing as an actress (a brief watch of that movie explains why) Sands became a . . . chiropractor, graduating from a school that would later lose its license.

Sands was saved from the highlight of her life being lampooned by MST3K by smartly marrying into money. Lots of money, as she tied the knot with a wealthy real estate mogul who was 22 years older than she. In 2015 he died (she was 55 years old and he 77), leaving effectively all of it to her. Now we at last get to her qualifications.

She has no foreign policy background or experience of any kind, zilch. What she did “accomplish” was donating very bigly to the Trump Campaign. She maxed out legal contributions to his campaign, and then wrote a big check to his inaugural fund.

In August 2016, Trump appointed Sands to his “best people” team of economic advisers. You will, of course, notice nothing in her background to suggest any economic expertise. However, Sands was CEO of her dead husband’s company, and Trump needed to mute criticism that his economics counsel had no women on it. So there you go. Problem solved.

All that made her “qualified” to be Trump’s ambassador to Denmark.

As Ambassador to Denmark she mostly tweeted out numerous wacky conspiracy theories, to include a hoax video falsely claiming to show black Americans attacking a white Trump supporter. Undoubtedly adding to her credibility with the Danish people, and government, was that she had no clue Trump’s cancelling his visit was coming. Just hours before she tweeted about her excitement for the upcoming visit.

“Best people” in action!

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Retired lawyer & Army vet in The Villages of Florida. Lifelong: Republican (pre-Trump), Constitution buff, science nerd & dog lover. Twitter: @KeithDB80

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