Trump Announces Plan For Kiddie Concentration Camp Theme Park.
“Just Like Disney, Only With No Parental Supervsion,” Says the President
When conservative, boil-on-America’s-butt, Laura Ingraham described the concentration camps, where imprisoned brown children are kept from their parents, as “summer camps,” she didn’t know she would inspire the President to build America’s largest theme park for imprisoned children. Building on Ingraham’s description, Trump has announced plans to build a thrill a minute Disneyland style theme park for the children who have “infested” his luxurious tent city concentration camps. The President reportedly kicked around a variety of names for the park.
- One American Flag Over Texas, Dammit.
- Parentless Land
- Rule of Law Lala Land
In the end all of these were rejected in favor of “Trump Land.”
Walking out after dinner at a posh Washington D.C. Mexican restaurant, the ever compassionate Head of the Department of Homeland Security, and easily pronounced, Kirstjen Nielsen, described the facility in moving terms:
“It will be a great place! Friendly blue gloved members of ICE will escort traumatized screaming and wailing children to thrill rides, strap them in, and let them scream and wail their cute little brown heads off some more.”
Nielsen boasted of some of the personal touches insisted upon by President Trump. These include “Witch Hunt Land,” where the playful tykes will be invited to hunt witch hunters with special toy pistols called “tweet guns.” Nielsen also indicated the grounds would include “an appropriate and respectful memorial to the victims of the Bowling Green Massacre.”
When asked who would pay for the facility Trump said, “Mexico.”